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        30岁还没有谈恋爱是不是不正常

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        1#
        发表于 2018-8-22 08:11 来自手机 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式
        1心理币
          我今年30岁(单身),男生,有过一次婚外恋,算是我勾引的她(已婚),在一起有两年,后来因为经济原因分了。算是我的一次特殊感情经历。; q/ r4 @) y# k* a8 \
          我追过几次女孩子,没有一次成功的,可能是因为自卑,内向,也可能是从小家庭环境的影响。我生活在一个单亲家庭,妈妈在我三岁左右就离开了我们,那时弟弟才一岁左右,爸爸是50年代的人,没有读过什么书,打我记事起,就住在别人家里,听家人说是房子被烧了。妈妈去世后,爸爸带着我们兄弟俩去菜市场卖菜养活我们,到处租房子住,就这样过了差不多十年,爸爸是一个老实人,自卑,不会说话,从小,做什么,吃什么都怕被别人看见,连吃一次肉,都不敢跟不会说话,也很自卑,可我还有点对女生有很强烈的抵触心里,不知道是不是跟我妈有关系。记得很小的时候,有一次晚上,妈妈趁爸爸出去买烟十,一个人偷偷的拿着一个褐色的玻璃瓶喝水还是什么,还在那哭,把我吵醒了,就问她喝什么,她骗我说糖水,第二天妈妈就走了,再也回不来了,从那以后,我就变得沉默寡言了,也不敢接近女孩子,直到现在,这种情况越来越严重。. }3 v- S+ p( \5 O
          15岁初中没毕业,爸爸把我送进厨房了,一做就是十几年,这十几年,我经历了很多事情,可在感情方面,我还是一片空白,可能因为自己的原因,工作了十几年,一点成绩也没有,我越来越恨自己,讨厌自己,脾气越来越暴躁,变得心急易怒,性格古怪,感觉活着没有一点价值,一点意义,一直想改变家庭带给我的自卑,和安全感,(小时候被母亲抛弃的阴影),导致我现在无法做一个正常人,没有一个朋友一段友谊能维持三个月,都是自我疗伤。从去年开始,我意识到自己的情况有点严重了,好像自己拒绝长大一样,我的心里跟想法变得跟小孩一样,任性叛逆,喜怒无常,讨厌自己,不切实际,,好像把自己封闭起来了,可怎么也转不出去,我已经30岁了,可就是长不大,也不知道以后怎么办,现在厨师也没有做了,,不敢跟家里人说,家里叫我回去相亲几次,我都没有回去,感觉自己不像个成年人,害怕被他们发现了我的不正常行为,一直在逃避,总以为结婚对我来说是一件很遥不可及的梦。4 a6 g5 b' b( x& f1 S. R! R
          我不想这样下去了,我想过正常人的生活,朋友们,你们谁能帮帮我,帮我过正常人的生活,我的父亲已经60好几了,我已经到了给他报孙子的年纪了,可我什么都做不了,不知道怎么办了,家里前几年做了一个毛坯房,去年拆迁赔了两套房子,没有多余的钱,房子现在还没有到手,我想早一点认我爸报孙子,可不知道怎么办,现在不敢追女孩子,自卑,胆怯,也不知道怎么追。( K/ A! `0 c: Z, H
          今年认识了一个妹妹,比我小七岁,她家里条件不好,小学没毕业就没读书了,爸爸在她上五年级的时候,在家里盖房子摔伤了,成了植物人,11岁就跟她妈妈干活养家,家里还有一个弟弟在上学,每年我的这个妹妹挣点钱都寄回家了,因为跟他爸治病,家里欠了一屁股债,妹妹还借了好多贷款,我也帮她还了一些,我有点喜欢这个妹妹(叫静静)我们认识半年后,有一次跟她表白了被拒绝了,原因是现在不想谈,也弄的有点尴尬,现在缺钱就会找我,我也来者不拒,不知道这样下去什么时候是个头,我只想成个家,让我爸早点报个孙子,可是没经验,求朋友们帮忙,好心人一生平安0 J6 L7 z! F- Y  h# n4 s: K
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        0 {1 e1 G% I! C5 A2 u+ x0 Y# k  v1 A/ v/ H8 H

        2#
        发表于 2018-10-2 09:04 | 只看该作者
        童年的经历会给人留下很深的影响,我建议你可以去找专业的心理医生
        3#
        发表于 2018-10-10 21:39 | 只看该作者
        1.首先30岁没谈恋爱是属于正常。2.自卑是和生长环境等一些外在因素相关(后期的环境也可以改善这种状况)。3.现状的社会现象导致了物质现实(当下30岁未结婚的大有人在)。4、你想要谈恋爱就得先去多找一些能接触女孩子的工作或者环境,其实很多女孩子也有一样的烦恼。希望能帮到你
        4#
        发表于 2018-10-29 09:54 | 只看该作者
        你现在最重要的是走向社会,获得正常的社会功能,完善自己,谈恋爱的问题会迎刃而解的* N- o% Q3 R% h* ]0 G
        5#
        发表于 2018-11-1 11:23 | 只看该作者
        首先你需要了解到我们作为一个弱小的个体对这个社会上面很多的事情都是没有办法的,我们能做的只是做好日常生活中的每一件小事。( @# K4 O. k! S) A' L2 H
        如果说想要一下子就找到一个对自己而言完美的结婚对象,可能不是很容易。
        ) ]' N( q: u8 z5 m$ P- V但是能不能一点点的锻炼自己,比如说能自己一个人开始自理自己的生活就是完美的进步。
        6#
        发表于 2018-11-9 11:11 | 只看该作者
        我也没有
        7#
        发表于 2018-11-28 13:12 来自手机 | 只看该作者
        要想改变现状,必须的走出去,行动起来才能改变
        8#
        发表于 2018-12-25 11:22 | 只看该作者
        如果把恋爱这件事加上很重的枷锁,要求自己一定时间必须完成这个任务,反而恋爱不会来,应该先调整心态,放轻松一点。
        9#
        发表于 2019-1-3 15:42 | 只看该作者
        10#
        发表于 2019-2-26 09:59 | 只看该作者
        能正视问题就已经很棒了,共勉
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